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Saturday, September 26, 2009

Never Forget

This last week several polls about the war in Afghanistan were widely reported in the media. Net net, it was determined that roughly half of all Americans are tired of the war in Afghnistan and feel that it is time to walk away. According to the White House Press Office, the President is weighing his options.




As per normal, I'll share a few thoughts (This is after all my blog and I get to say whatever I want) WTF - that came out of nowhere. Seriously though - have we forgotten why we invaded Afghanistan?

Let me remind you.






Although polls are an accepted part of our political landscape, they should never be used to make policy. Divestiture of the Afghan problem would simply lay bare an area four times the size of Texas for Islamic Extremists to train and prepare for their next horrific attack on the free nations of the world and yes (even to the Obama haters) that includes the United States - this beautiful country we all love and that my family has bled for since the revolutionary war. I realize that most of you who read this blog are military or veteran associated and so, like me and mine, have a vested interest in what happens in these wars we have been fighting. I also realize that a few of you have no such association and it is to you this message goes.

War and what it brings (mostly to the young) is abhorrent to all civilized peoples and yet there are times when it is necessary to depose those who would seek to inflict tragedy on others. Young men woman must die. I know too many - as friends and sons and fathers and even one mother. It is a burden I carry with me each day as I wake and each night as I sleep but it is a burden I believe in. Their lives have not been in spent in vain. As of this morning eight hundred forty-eight young American men and woman have laid down their lives in this far away place so that you and I will never have to suffer the consequences of Radical Muslims who believe that our deaths (all of our deaths) is a requirement to stand faithfully in front of God. If we leave, if we do not bring hope to a land that is void of hope and thus a breeding ground for radicalism, we will surely consign ouselves to greater tragedies in the years to come.

Each of these service members stand proudly on a wall, they give their lives, so that we never have to count the thousands or even the tens of thousands on our soil again. Do you think we should base their sacrifice on a poll - plus or minus 3.5%

TIA

EARL

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Back with a Vengance

Sorry for the long hiatus friends.

I needed time for me and for my family as a lot has been happening and I owe some call outs:

1) BBG had her charity event and she and her quilting supporters finished over 200 quilts for our wounded and injured as they are medevac'd through Landstuhl. They also raised over $7,000 for the veterans wheelchair games which will be held in Denver next July. I'd like to call out the nurses and staff at the VA who gave her their time, love and support in this effort. I won't name them "D, JS, and crew". You know I hate to be the butterfly. I'd also like to thank the woman of the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR) of which she is one. They are truly an example of friendship, love and support and stand for what makes America the greatest place in the world. They are the patriots who can trace their lineage to our war of independence and once again they have risen to the occasion. Jim and Nicks barbecue of Denver for showing true support and providing amazing barbecue at cost for the Phipps Mansion display and celebration of 180 quilts. You are all patriots and I will be there if ever you need me. You have earned it.

2) The armor company, EBS Composites Group, of which I am the COO and which has made some mind bending advances in body, vehicle, marine and aircraft armor in the last few months. It has taken every waking hour above and beyond my day job as an engineer. Soon you will hear our name lots as we are stopping rounds at half the weight and 30% of the cost of most of the industry. After all, why should our soldiers be weighed down any more than they already are and why should our government pay a premium to save the lives of the men and woman who stand on a wall in our names. This aint hype - last weekend I unloaded a full nine millimeter clip and a mag of 44s into a .7 lb AD panel, at point blank range, with no penetrations and multiple Ak rounds into a 1lb AD plate with the same result. The armor market's about to be turned upside down.

3) My herd of kidlets for suviving all of this without much parental support and most importantly I owe the world to BBG.

4) BBG has done all of this despite being physically crushed and dealing with PTSD that seems to be at its worst right now. She is a force of nature, despite her disabilities and it is why, 18 years ago, I married her. Her tenacity in the face of all of this makes me feel a little more insignificant and blessed every day. Now I just need to figure out a way to get her a cleaning lady.

Now that I've gotten all of that out of the way, I want to give you a heads up on tomorrow's blog:

It will be about the war in Afghanistan and the fact the pollsters say America is sick of being invloved in it. I'll share why this is a war we must fight and if need be why I would be willing to fight it for you.

TIA

Earl

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Things that go boom in the night

It's an all nighter tonight.

I'm a business process engineer by civilian trade: O if only I could sell a couple of novels ;-) I enable people to do things in leaner and more efficient ways that enable businesses to turn strategies into tactics. Sounds cool if you like numbers. Otherwise - just another engineer.

Tonight I will stay up all night rebuilding a stochastic model of my division's financial performance for the next ten years, based upon efficiency gains that I have designed, so the senior leadership team can do it's long range business planning. The problem is that they are on another continent doing the planning while I am here answering their changing assumptions via e-mail.

Its my own damn fault - I took the day off today.

I took the day off so that I could do my process improvement and development work as a favor for a friend. Can't name him here - you know the drill.

One ripple in the wind..

and I hate to be the butterfly. You'll all hear about him one day soon. My friend is the closest thing to a mad scientist that you could ever meet. he is well educated, genius smart and the ideas flow from his mind like water from a hose - fire hose. He has also invented a new kind of body armor that is flexible, moldable, provides more coverage and weighs way less than the SAPI plates we've all had to put up with. It could even be used to up-armor a humvee at way less weight than is currently done (no more top heavy roll-overs) In a word - he's figured it out and I am privileged to help design the production processes that will get this to market one day.

It will probably take us awhile to do. There are government regulations, relationships to build, money to raise (lots of it) and a world of obstacles to overcome before something like this can come to market or ride a soldier's body through Baghdad or Kabul or line the body of a Border Patrol truck.

Its coming though. He does this full time. I work days off, late nights and weekends and never once has my family complained. they know I love it almost as much as flying or writing and eventually someone will come home and hug their kids or their parents and families because his invention brought them home and my processes made it manufacturable. They know there's a purpose behind this one.

Four young Americans died in two seperate IED attacks in Afghanistan today.

Tonight I'm pulling an all nighter because I took today off to work on armor.

Its worth it but I wish we could go faster.

TIA

Earl

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Wounded Warrior Project - Denver



Denver - May 23, 2008 Soldiers Ride
Thanks to the Wounded Warrior Project!! BBG Had a great Day!
TIA
Earl

Monday, May 25, 2009

Soldiers Ride - Wounded Warrior Project

Post # 2 (Better News)

Every once in awhile I get to talk about something cool here. This weekend my wife rode in the Soldiers Ride in Denver a product of the Wounded Warrior Program. (Links Below)

Wounded Warrior Program

https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/content/view/412/875/

Soldier's Ride

http://sr.woundedwarriorproject.org/

She was approached through some of these wonderful folks at the VA to be a part of this experience. She was full of trepidation. After all, our own attempts to get her back on a bike hadn't been so successful. Her balance is shot to hell so its a lot like teaching the 6 year-old how to ride a bike - difference is she used to be an athlete and the idea that it would be hard to ride a bike again was totally foreign. I was sure I could get her up and going but failed miserably.

They put her on a recumbent sit down bike and Friday night she road eight miles as a prep for Saturday's ride. Despite the misgivings of the safety officer, they agreed to let her do it on Saturday. She made it. My wife, BBG, who used to knock out twenty like it was nothing road twenty miles on a bike was able to do it again. A simple pleasure we had thought lost forever was hers.

She cried when I met her at the end. Then she told me over and over how she had done it. A lunch provided by the Denver Hard Rock Cafe was a great way to end a very special weekend.

The mission of the Wounded Warrior Project is to honor and empower wounded warriors.

The Wounded Warrior Project’s (WWP) Soldier Ride is a rehabilitative cycling program for wounded warriors and an advocacy program for today’s wounded warriors. For many of these combat-wounded veterans, Soldier Ride provides the first and important step in their return to an active lifestyle.
Many of these men and women have been physically active throughout their lives. Soldier Ride offers them the chance to get on a bike and prove to themselves, "I can still do this." Soldier Ride is not about politics; it's not about the war. It's simply about the soldiers. It’s about mindshare for the men and women that serve or have served in the United States Armed Forces.

There is much more to the Wounded Warrior Project and more programs than just the soldier's Ride. Please take the time to visit the web sites listed above, to find out more and to give your time, support, energy and even money if you can. As always, please share these links with friends family, local media, and your elected officials in your area.

Our greatest failure would be to let these heros fight this battle alone.

TIA

Earl

Two posts tonight - back with a vengence

First post:

My friend - Aviation Commander, father, husband, PTSD sufferer who I have repeatedly promised to tell you about called yesterday to thank my wife and I for our service.

She deserves it - as does he.

I, a glorified whirlybird bus driver, do not.

I'll bypass his story for now and share our conversation.

Him: Dude how are you? Hey, sorry we haven't talked in a couple of weeks. Wife had the baby - she's beautiful and amazing (Baby and wife).

**NOTE: He gave me the stats and all I can remember is baby girl, name is normal, and she was 19.5" long - I am pathetic and I apologize to mother and father. Remember me as a caring friend with the memory of a toad.

Me: Congrats brother. You must be so proud - two beautiful daughters.

Him: I am - she lights ups the room - lights up me.

Me: How are you doing? Writing much lately?

Him: Fuck no - I just can' get into it lately (sad for an award wining Columbia MFA). I try but it just won't come. I'm a slacker!

Me: You OK otherwise?

Him: Kinda - the nightmares are really bad. Almost every night. At least I'm up when the baby cries though.

Me: Any luck with the VA? (his disability package is in the purgatory of the VA process. So much for reducing their average wait time down from 173 days. I'm a six sigma black belt and guarantee I could cut it by 30% but they have declined my offers to help)

Him: No - I'm kinda giving up on that. I get to see someone from my wife's health care program. They have no clue what war is like but at least its someone to talk to.

Me: I'll make a call on Tuesday to my wife's VA therapist she'll get you in.

Him (resigned) Sure dude thanks - whatever you can do.

As god is my witness, I will call this therapist tomorrow morning first thing. She is overwhelmed with troops in need and probably has no life outside the VA but she'll get him in. She cares and will go the extra mile. I owe her my life, my wife's life and our marriage and I'll ask for one more favor. She'll find a way to get him in. The VA is filled with folks like her. They care and give to the detriment of their own lives

My friend needs help and it isn't readily available. As an Army Officer this shames me. As an American this shames me. On this Memorial Day, we owe our freedoms to good men like my friend yet very few are doing everything they can - except for the overburdened caregivers at the VA - they do it until they become casualties themselves. Unable to bear the weight of so many and still take care of themselves.

If you read this, do me a favor and send a copy to your congressman or senator. Ask them to ensure this stops happening. Share it with your local newspaper or your neighbor. We need to get the word out and keep it in the headlines until it stops - until all get the help they need, We owe it to them.

TIA

Earl

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Sometimes you just have to get away

Its been two months and one day since I've posted - sorry! I'll make my excuses short and get back to what I do.

1) Work has been insane. As an aside (meaning on my own time), I've fallen into providing process engineering support to an engineer and inventor who has developed some material that provides ballistic protection at weights that are significantly lower than what is currently out there. Imagine a humvee that is not so top heavy it flips every time you turn a sharp corner or imagine body armor shaped like your body at half the weight of what our soldiers are currently wearing.

Amazing!

2) I've been tired. Every once in awhile I get wrapped back up in me. I'm tired of being the caregiver. I just want to be a husband or a dad. I don't want to be the husband of the disabled Iraq vet. I will always be that but sometimes I like to pretend I'm not and so I stay away for a time.

Our lives are OK right now. Summer is coming and no longer having the ability to regulate body temp is definitely starting to affect BBG so I am wary of what summer will bring. I am already starting to find my children tucked in at night wearing an occasional ski toque. On a brighter note, she is involved in some sort of project which will be highlighting women vets and their lives post Iraq/Afghanistan. A photographer and writer was here today and will spend some time with us over the next little while learning about our lives.

Smart money says she'll be half crazy by the end of the week. Thank god for the meth lab in the basement!

It felt funny. I know I write about all of this so its not exactly a secret but it's different somehow when you say it out loud. Perhaps there is comfort in not saying things out loud. There is certainly a certain level of comfort in the anonymity that comes with being the average unknown redneck writer in the blogosphere and I must admit I kind of like that.

So I'm back - Tomorrow, I'll share a story about a friends son's sad return from Iraq and his efforts to get retired and have his VA disability completed. As per normal, it could be mapped at the same speed as continental drift.

TIA

Earl

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Bald Eagle no longer National Symbol


Sorrry Mom but I couldn't help it.

TIA

Earl

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

30 percent of soldiers in Iraq have considered suicide

My next story about a friend and his struggle to get care for PTSD is being delayed for another day - sorry.

Every once in awhile, someone drops a newspaper article or story from around the world about PTSD, life after Iraq/afghanistan, Military suicide rates etc. I can't imagine why! Of course, you know the drill - veteran care and suicide is my cause and will be for the rest of my life. Its kinda close to home.

Today I received two links:

Link # 1 is about a Maine vet who says he has been saved by a story about a Massachusetts Marine who took his life after running into the road blocks I talk so frequently about.

Link #2 is the story of that young Marine who lost the fight.

Aside from the shame I feel for the failure of our system to provide for one Marine, lost to his family and friends forever, I am proud that there are still Americans out there who feel the pain of every loss.

Here are the links:

#1

http://thephoenix.com/Boston/News/78245-Gulf-War-vet-saved-by-Phoenix-article/#anchormore

#2

http://thephoenix.com/Boston/News/78044-Soldiers-committing-suicide/


I ask you this: If you know a service member who is struggling to adjust to life after Iraq, Afghanistan or other points unknown in the Global War on Terror. Talk to them. Beg them to get help. Make the call for them and most important of all, follow up to find out if they are getting help or running into barriers.

I know it becomes difficult and interrupts your lives but they need you. They need us. Please - help them overcome the barriers.

TIA

Earl

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

President Obama Screws Veterans

Urgent News so next friend from Iraq with PTSD will have to wait another day - sorry!

President Obama told Representatives from Veterans Groups Monday that he is still considering a proposal to have treatment for service-connected injuries charged to veterans' private insurance plans.

I may not be a Democrat but I am proud of the process we have in place and Obama is my president and our Commander in Chief. The above statement is a slap in the face to our wounded and injured veterans.

We as a nation owe free medical care for injuries received in the line of duty. It is our debt, our social contract, with the men and woman who have stood in harms way in our names.

How is it acceptable for us to expect our wounded and injured to begin footing the bill for injuries incurred in our name.

This is our nations shame and the Commander in Chief is the primary perpetrator. I don't know how else to express it. Maybe its time to start hanging flags upside down again.


TIA


EARL

Friday, March 13, 2009

PTSD Story

True to my word (more them less me)here's story of a friend and poet just returned from his second tour in Iraq as an infantry officer.

Tomorrow will be friend two, aviation commander two years after Iraq.

SO here's the deal, friend one today, I'll call him Z. I got an e-mail from Z that really bothered me. He just wanted to "Hey I'm back, alive, writing my ass off and still hiding in a bottle but less than I have been." He's a great guy and a very talented poet and budding screen writer. We met in between tours and because of a shared military skill set and that whole Operation Homecoming thing, hit it off right away. I missed being able to communicate more but you know how sporadic comms are from Baghdad. Needless to say, it was more random than not and we missed out on a lot of what we've been doing for the last two years.

Z was an Army Officer, Infantry to be exact and very good at it. He also managed to get lucky and when his time was up, the Army managed to accidentally let him go (An extremely unusual thing for a one block company grade infantry officer - OK for any Infantry Officer with a pulse and less than a major felony). He went to Texas, to be in an affordable place where he could be by the beach, write, drink, and see the world go by - preferably in bikinis. I think he deserved it.

For those of you who are not intimately familiar with the military, everyone who signs on the line, owes a minimum of eight years. Now, in most cases - for Officers, this means six years of active duty and two years of IRR (Individual Ready Reserve. During your time on the IRR, you are subject to recall at any time.

Z was just shy of his 8th year when he opened his mail slot to find the letter. I call it the letter because to call it anything else would be to make it seem like normal correspondence - "Dear Z, Ed McMahon is on his way. Please wait by your door" or "Dear Z, if you don't pay your bill, we will disconnect your water on Friday."

Despite being more than a little pissed off about being invited on a long date with Uncle Sam, Z showed up at Fort Somewhere, did his month of training and went merrily on his way to Iraq for twelve or more months in a somewhere shitty kind of place.

Z could have dodged the bullet. He was definitely suffering from PTSD among other crap you carry home with you from the big sandy but he is after all an Army Officer. He did not believe he could say no when so many others were still walking in harms way.

The Z who came home this time is different from the friend I knew when he came home last time - his writing is angrier, when he can even make himself write it down, he drinks for the drunk not for joy of a little fun with good friends, and he seems sad. He is not my dog ran away sad. He is fuck the world, I shot my dog on a street in Baghdad sad and I can't sleep and I don't really want to anyway sad.

He said to me recently that he doesn't understand why it bothers him so much this time. He saw much less death and every day was not a sphincter clenching I will die here today kind of day. It was actually pretty damn boring this time aside from the mortars and the odd Baghdad fight but it feels worse. (Poetic license here) Some guy bumped into me in the bar and I beat him until it dawned on me that he was unconscious on the ground and I couldn't tell if the blood was coming from my hands or the mess that was his face.

Good news - Z was rushed out by a friend and didn't go to jail.

He asked me about BBG and how she's doing and how she's dealing with her PTSD. I told him honestly that some days are good and some days suck but more are better now. I reminded him that shortly after she got out of the hospital and I finally let her drive that she forced a woman in a mini van off the road for driving too close to our vehicle. (sadly no poetic license here)

Good news - BBG had no weapon so she did not disable the woman or her vehicle.

I said to him the same things I have said to BBG and to my other friends with PTSD. You need help. You need to go to the VA and wait until someone sees you - even if takes fourteen hours, two days or a week. You need to get into a group with other OIF/OEF combat vets and talk about it. You need to get off the booze or that friend who saved you from jail will fade away and you will be alone. Most of all - talk with friends and know that you are just like tens of thousands of others. If you work through it, it may never go away but it will dull with time.

You have to be open to help and know that without it, you will lose yourself in the rage and the pain and in the middle of the night, if you have no one, you can call me.

He hasn't called and I haven't heard from him lately. (probably because I suck and got wrapped in my own whine for soooo long that I forgot about a friend.)

I hope to god its because he's out doing things that us married guys only dream about.

TIA

Earl

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Taking Chance - Again

I think it was a couple of weeks ago that I talked about Taking Chance a new film based on LTC Michael Strobel's account of his journey with the remains of PFC Chance Phelps to the young Marine's home in Wyoming for his burial.

I first read the story the day after the Operation Homecoming book launch as I flew home to Denver. I've never been more moved by this war - these wars - in my life. I've got to be honest though, I'm not sure if I was so moved by his families loss and The Colonel's witness or if it was my relief that all I got was the 0300 call when BBG was medevac'd out of Iraq. I often feel guilty for this and I feel inadequate when I express my condoloances to the families who have given all in service of our nation. I imagine their sorrow and loss and I ache for them.

I feel guilty because as I wonder on their anguish, I am even more thankful that BBG came home. We may have bad days but we have days.


TIA

Earl

Monday, March 2, 2009

Lizzie Palmer

Every once in awhile, I run across one of these videos and I can't help but throw it up here. The story behind this is that 15 y0 Lizzie Palmer created this in 2006 as a school project. Its an oldie but a goodie.





TIA


Earl

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Break time is Over

I'll skip the lame excuses for my hiatus this time. Suffice it to say, I just got busy. Mind you not in terms of gettin buzzzy :-(

I promised at the end of my last post to take some time and talk about what life is like in a Post GWOT PTSD family (enough acronyms!). This one is easy..

It blows huge A$$

Sorry mom - I know you hate it when I swear but at my age the failures are no longer considered yours so just deal with it and love me for who I am.

Besides - this is my secret identity (sadly neither Pink or Scarlett J with or without Jello will ever know who I am)

Anyway, back to the topic. Living in a PTSD family is like living on the razor. One day you slide left and one day you slide right. Either side can be good or bad and life hanging on to the middle cuts you right between the toes. If you happen to fall in the middle its a big razor up the a$$ so you have to learn to fall to either side but never straight down.

Most days, I try to balance it just right and I'm successful. The laundry gets done, the herd gets fed, and BBG says she loves me before she falls asleep irregardless of the drugs on board. On the bad days, life goes down in one of about four different ways:

1) BBG is feeling physically ill and struggling to make it through the day and the kids are being jerks and I am unable to put humpty back together again (Bad), 2) BBG is OK emotionally, but is physically ill and I am running thirty seconds behind everything that happens. Its been going on for ten days or so and I lose the will to fight another losing battle and I lose my cool. I'm a man so I lose my cool in a stomp around the house three year-old temper tantrum passive agressive sort of way (Very bad), 3) BBG is doing fine but I have not yet recovered from # 2 and carry on (Verry Baddd) and 4) My personal favorite - something triggers BBG's PTSD in a bad way (burnt barbecue, dogs, crowds and very loud noises are the worst offenders - I'll leave it up to your imagination why). She is pissed off, cranked up, ready for war and the smallest issue with previously mentioned grommets sends her through the roof. They in turn have learned to react to these days by behaving exactly like mommy and the spiral steepens. (razor up your butt kinda bad day)

We talk openly about these things because we are trying to keep ourselves and BBG sane. We also talk about it because we don't want to become one of those statistics I frequently post about. I think this is helping but lets be honest...

If you're standing in the tracks as the train comes at you, knowing it doesn't do any damn good. The only way to not get run over by the train is to get off the damn tracks. Sounds pretty simple doesn't it?

I think someone nailed my shoes down

TIA

Earl

Friday, February 13, 2009

A Me day

OK - most of this year will be dedictaed to our wounded.

Today is just me being a dad.

I need to stop being a soldier and I need to chill out. A friend from work is headed to a bikini vacation in Bali and she was telling me all about it over dinner on my recent business trip to Europe. Unintentionally, I gave her a forty five minute threat and personal security briefing. She told me today that she might not go.

oops

To make things even worse, I am sending my baby girl (sixteen and about to be a senior in high school) off to China for a month of language emersion this coming summer. I was on the phone with someone from the program's offices in Toronto today and found myself grilling her about about security issues. I probably owe her an apology but I'm going to hide behind the concerned parent excuse rather than the Army Officer and husband of messed up Iraq vet. It seems a little more normal.

You know I was getting a little excessive when BBG - the woman who wakes up screaming and starts digging in the comforter for her weapon late at night tells me to chill out.

Tomorrow, I'll tell you a little bit what happens to you after you've lived with a PTSD vet for awhile.


TIA

Earl

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Taking Chance

Many of you who have followed my little rants against the world for a while, know that I was one of the contributors to the NEA, Boeing, Random House Book - Operation Homecoming and a member of one of the two documentary films made about the book. I was very fortunate to attend book signings at the Library of Congress and around the country and to meet and interact with some of the greats in American Literature: Andrew Carroll, Mark Bowden, Jeff Shaara and Ray Bradbury and all of the brilliant young men and women who contributed to the book. Very cool stuff for an aspiring writer.

I never read the book in its entirety until I got a copy at the book launch and signing at the library of Congress a couple of years back. As I flew home from DC to Denver on a packed United Airlines 757, I read it cover to cover. It is a powerful read and as my story is a part of the collection it is even more poignant. The last thing I read was "Taking Chance" by LTC Michael Strobel. It's the story of his travels, escorting the remains of Marine Chance Phelps home to his family in Wyoming.

In this airplane full of harried business folks on their way home from a hard week's work, I cried as much as I cried when I got the 0330 call from a young Marine LCPL at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center as BBG was unloaded from the medevac flight out of Iraq.

Although I would love you to read the book to hear all of our stories this one is a must read and a must see. Below are links to Operation Homecoming, the documentary film about the book, and the trailer to Taking Chance.


Operation Homecoming:

http://www.nea.gov/national/homecoming/index.html

Muse of Fire - Documentary Film (Free DVD):

http://www.museoffire.net/Request_a_DVD.html

Taking Chance:



TIA

Earl

Sad News

SO I mentioned the other day that I would add a really sobering post. I'm sorry that it took me so long to get it up but this is probably one of the most distrubing things that I have addressed here in the past and given recent events do so again.

Its a critical issue that anyone who has served in OIF, OEF, the GWOT and their families have to deal with. It is in fact the elephant in this room of war that we are perpetualy engaged in.

Army Suicide Numbers have spiked at an alarming rate

On February 5th, the Army announced that it had seven confirmed suicides last month and are investigating another seventeen. They will in all probability be ruled suicides and so the Army has its highest suicide rate in one month for as long as they've been keeping records - this as a string of years of higher and higher suicide rates continues to grow. There are no details about the individuals who have lost all hope and ended it or the locations where the suicides have occurred. Fort Campbell, KT has however confirmed four suicides last month near the base. As a former Screaming Eagle - it breaks my heart,. As an Officer I feel we are letting our soldiers down. As an American, I am ashamed that the issues our soldiers face in war and after multiple deployments are a low priority in our lives.

As the husband of BBG and all of her injuries, surgeries, and struggles with PTSD and post medical retirement it is a fear that lives in us - always just under the surface. I will tell you this: we talk about it openly because I don't want to lose my babies momma. I am going to list a couple of resources below.

If you know a soldier or vet struggling to deal with life after the suck please refer them to these links - hell give them my e-mail. I'll stop whatever I'm doing and get them pointed to the right people especially if they live in the Denver Metro area.

Here's the links:

1) A great PSA from actor Gary Sinise, a true veterans advocate.



2) This is the Army's Suicide Prevention Website

http://chppm-www.apgea.army.mil/dhpw/Readiness/suicide.aspx

3) This is the VA Suicide Website

http://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/suicide_prevention/index.asp

and finally here is the number to the VA suicide Prevention Hotline - it is open and staffed 24/7/365.

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

We have failed every time one of our own loses all hope and see suicide as relief from their pain. Please spread the message.

TIA

Earl

Thursday, February 5, 2009

When you need it done right

I stole this post from Airman Mom, another milblogger who has a great site. You can check her out here:

http://airmanmom.blogspot.com

She made my day. I hope you like it.

A soldier was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give! you exactly 15 minutes.'

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am God. I'm still waiting'.

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the soldier got out of his chair,went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The soldier went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the soldier and asked, 'What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?' The soldier calmly replied, 'God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me.'

On a side note - I have another post ready for tomorrow but it was just too sad to talk about after seeing this. I'll post it tomorrow.

TIA

Earl

Monday, January 26, 2009

Thanks for the Fish

Back in Europe for work. Sounds cool but let's be honest - I've got three kids, a disabled wife and a house full of neurotic pets. I have responsibilities at home and I want to be with them.

This blows huge a$$!

Good to get that off my chest. Today is not about them; M, BBG, the grommets, or other wayward and god protected fools. Its about YOU. I just wanted to say thanks for all of the great notes and comments I've been getting over the last few weeks. If you never read, I'd still write - its my thing. It does however help me a lot. This is my wee way of making sure that the above and those to come are never forgotten. It is also a way for me to feel a little less alone in this giant interconnected world that isolates us all. I get to throw out my two cents, in what I hope is a reasonable fashion and some of you have been very kind over the long haul. I write because I need to but its nice to be noticed.

All I can say is thanks but its a heartfelt one at that. I would ask one thing: Share my blog or some of the others out there about all of this with a friend and ask them to pass it on.

Great directory is http://www.blogcatalog.com

Here's my continuing spiel...

We have tens of thousands of young men and women who have been injured and wounded in service of our nation. This is a non political issue. We have a responsibility to take care of those who serve in our name. The only way that will happen is if we spread the message. I have friends who lived in horrible conditions for more than a year while they went through the Army Physical Disability Evaluation System (PDES) and no one cared until a hole in the back corner of Walter Reed showed up in the Washington Post and on NBC nightly news. You don't have to pick my blog but find one or two about life after the GWOT and pass it around. Make sure that M's stop happening.

TIA

Earl

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Fiddler's Green

The beautiful thing about the military is that you lose track of old friends, switch duty stations, walk into the briefing room and lo and behold - there they are. The years melt away and you fill the gap with stories of wives, children, and the myriad of other things that fill our lives.

I learned today that an old friend's son was killed in Afghanistan last July. I remember when he was fourteen and wanted nothing more than a day with his dad. He died, a cavalryman, saving his soldiers. This one goes out to his mother and father. Nothing we say can ever be enough.

Fiddler's Green (Cavalry)

Halfway down the trail to hell
In a shady meadow green,
Are the souls of all dead troopers camped
Near a good old-time canteen

And this eternal resting place
Is known as Fiddler's Green.

Marching past, straight through to hell,
The infantry are seen, '
Accompanied by the Engineers,
Artillery and Marine,


For none but the shades of Cavalrymen
Dismount at Flddlers' Green.

Though some go curving down the trail
To seek a warmer scene,
No trooper ever gets to Hell
Ere he's emptied his canteen,

And so rides back to drink agaln
With friends at Fiddlers' Green.

And so when man and horse go down
Beneath a saber keen,
Or in a roaring charge or fierce melee
You stop a bullet clean,
And the hostiles come to get your scalp,
Just empty your canteen,

And put your pistol to your head
And go to Fiddlers' Green.


TIA

Earl

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

VFW: Vets Take Care of Their Own

The new year is here so now I live up to my promise.

Less me and more them!

Last Sunday, the VFW and Women's its Auxiliary, here in Denver, treated a group of vets and their families to a day at the National Western Stock Show. My wife and children and I were fortunate enough to be part of that group. They took care of us, bought us tickets, lunch, dinner, games, and included disposable camera's, cowboy hats for the kids, and for some reason a huge gift card to a local grocery store. For a day, we got to relax and we got to spend some time with other disabled vets and their families and some families of currently deployed service members.

Members of the VFW and the Women's Auxiliary escorted us throughout the event. I spent the rodeo seated with the parents of Navy Seal Danny Dietz, Navy Cross honoree, who was killed in Afghanistan in 2005. Two people who gave the most precious gift a parent can give to their nation gave a little bit more to me and my family. I am honored and humbled to have spent time with them and my simple "Thank you" was inadequate at best.

Once again our Veteran's Organizations have proven that we take care of our own.


I'd like to give a shout out to the individual folks who put this on but you know how I am about calling out names here and I'd how hate to be the butterfly so as a prior enlisted Marine and an Army Warrant I'll fall back on old faithful - Semper Fi!

I had the chance to spend some time with a young soldier who was badly wounded in Iraq back in 2005. He can walk again and despite the dark sunglasses (Post TBI Migraine need) it was like walking with many of the NCO's I have called my brothers, friends, and soldiers. He has been beaten up and broken up but he is not broken down and its his story I'd like to share today. I'll call him "M".

M, like my BBG, was hit by an IED or many as is the case for lots of our disable GWOT vets. After three tours, he has a traumatic brain injury among other issues. He was rushed out of the Army like so many others. He was not retired by the Army. He was given a ten percent disability, a small severance check and sent packing. Like BBG, he is changed forever. Like BBG, he grimaces and pushes on, ignores the cane in the corner when he can, and gives thanks for what he has left - his life!

His parent left their home and life in New Mexico to take care of their baby boy because that's what parents do. They came to his aid so he didn't have to live in a VA Group Home and so they could ensure he received the best of care. They dropped it all and took care of the boy they raised into a man so our Nation could use him and spit him out. I don't mean to sound bitter (OK - too bitter) but this should not be happening any more. As Americans we owe them (M, BBG, and thousands of others) more than a bum rush out the door when they're no longer battle ready.

It is obvious that the Army screwed up but it is made worse by the fact that the Army continues to screw this young man. You see, he has appealed his 10% disability and the Army, in all its wisdom, now says that it has no record that he ever served in Iraq. If he never served in Iraq, they reason, he could never have been wounded and thus he does not deserve an appeal.

Even more amazing, M and his parents are thankful that he came home. They are thankful and proud to have served - proud to be Americans. Like so many others, he looks at what he has accomplished, not at what he has lost.


I will try to live up to that example this year.


There are thousands of M's out there and we need to fix it. If our military's senior leaders cannot correct this systemic failure in their own organizations, they have lost the right to lead. I am sure that many of you will be more than a little pissed at me for that comment but lets be honest here: We promote General Officers because they have the superior leadership skills and the technical skills to be war fighters and administrators. They are not living up to the standard and we need to promote men and women who have the skill set to do both. Those who cannot meet the demands of their roles need to go away.

I know the economy is about as bad as it gets but we owe these men and woman. Whether you agree with the politics that have brought us to this place and these wars, we elected the leadership that has sent young men and women in harms way.

We, you and me..

We own this and we owe these young men and women more than a handshake and a thank you. We owe them our dedication and service in their honor. We owe them a system that meets their needs when they are damaged answering the call.

I would challenge each of you to do something. Write letters to your representatives, share this story with your friends. Challenge your local media outlets to tell more of these soldiers' stories. Find a young wife or husband..

Yep - new Army is full of young husbands left behind too

Find them and do something extra. Don't ask, just stop by and mow the lawn, shovel a driveway, babysit and send them to the spa. Let them know that what they do will never be forgotten.

TIA

Earl