There and back again:

Its funny, I've tried to get into this blog twice and failed both times. Horrible stuff comes out and I post it and read it every few days and wrap myself in my anger and ignore it. I swear I'll never post again.

Great combo eh? A liar and a writer!

I think I've finally come to terms with all of this. There is nothing I can do. My beautiful bride is no better, my three children are worse, and my writing has come to a standstill. I haven't done anything in a couple of weeks. I have another novel completed and I'm almost done with another screenplay but I can't bring myself to look at them let alone edit them. It would kill me if I had the time to die.

My girl is alive but that's about it. Her bouts with PTSD are at a new level of extreme, my oldest - a beautiful blond teenage girl with a zest for life, just came out of rehab and has physical and emotional scars that won't heal. As she told her mother today - I hate you for going to Iraq. Why did you do that to us?

So much for zest.

Right now, I'm just praying for life.

My son is much better. He only goes to the Principal's office daily for being an angry smart-ass with his teachers. When I try to explain to the principal what we're going through, he smiles and nods and tells me how his dad served in the Navy for years, thanks me for our service and then tells me that he wants to suspend my little boy who still says "sir" and "ma'am" and wishes he could have a sleep-over just once.

He can't!

Mom can no longer control her body temperature so she's sleeping in the family room with the A/C on - while the snow flies outside the window. If I come home late from work, my littlest is snuggled on the couch, asleep next to her mommy - ski hat on her head.

My wife's therapist from the VA is a wonderful person. She called me last week just to see how I was doing. How do you tell her that you're ready to come unglued when you're holding the last tenuous string that's keeping a family from imploding. Besides, its not like they can do anything. She can't see my kids and me too. She's buried alive in patients and that's not part of the deal.

After they've screwed them for a couple of years, the military and the VA eventually take care of the soldiers. As a nation we are forcing them to do that. As for the families - wave your flag and shut up.

The VA is desperately underfunded. No that's not true. They've spent a million bucks to see if they can follow PTSD patients via phone. What they have not done is hired more mental health professionals and If you haven't figured it out from the rest of my post ...

WE NEED THEM!!!!

I'd just like to thank the Democrats and Republicans for playing politics with the Veterans Bill. We don't need the money. Honest, we'll make do. At least that's what I say when I'm lying to my children.